Oh, Hello Again

I’m surprised you kids are still reading the old posts, holding on to dear life for a new one to arise, praying for my inevitable return to glory and triumph. That’s how I’ve imagined your loyalty, anyway.

But really, thank you for continuing to come back here, even if I haven’t been.

So it’s been awhile and for this, I do apologise. Please rest assured my neglect was not due to my going out to make new friends or getting a life or to even educate myself further on the teachings of some Scandinavian Scientists theory on climate change. No. It’s because I’m really fucking lazy.

Well, that’s not 100% accurate, to be fair. I’ve actually been in a slump that only the joy of pain and injury can bring on, but with a greater feeling of hopelessness due to there being no time-frame of successful treatment currently forth-coming. These medical issues (that are outside of my control at this point) have been limiting my ability to stretch far from the couch or my desk chair, which tends to hinder any creative musings that may be present somewhere in my noggin, especially as I’ve been more worried with how much it will hurt if I lean down to grab that carton of soy milk and whether I’ll be able to get back up again. But, that doesn’t mean I haven’t been THINKING about writing things.

Oh no, far from it, friends! I’ve sat at my desk at work and thought “Ho HO! That is an amusing anecdote I’ve thought of there!” And give myself a little pat on the back for being so brilliant. Then, by the time I drag my weary soul through the threshold of my premise that evening, I’ve lost all will to live, let alone think about the structure of any musings that I would present to the world.

There is also the cloudiness that comes with physical pain, made worse by the treatment, I dare say. Whilst pain makes you feel like you’re on auto-pilot with a map to nowhere, the painKILLERS themselves allow one to feel like they’re moving through a haze of un-reality. That part’s the real kicker. “Hey, take these because they will make you feel better“. Then, BAM! CLOUD TO THE FACE!!! All hope for any release of creative expression then goes down the toilet, along with ones hopes of a good bowel movement after being internally crushed by the side effects of the drugs you’ve taking. Yes, I just added a constipation quip. You’re welcome.

In short, without the flowery covering of language, my knee and back are right royally rooted. I’m awaiting an inevitable knee reconstruction due to my foray in to the sport of Roller Derby. This knee, which I mentioned was rooted, cannot always be trusted or depended upon for a usual day of walking, so limping ensues almost inevitably. This has resulted, over time, to an inflamed disc in my lower back. “Oh joy!” I hear you cry. Yes, yes indeed. This combination of injuries has had me resort to very little physical activity, else I risk the next few days in agony on the couch or under the heavy sedation of that lovely over-the-counter drug, codeine.

What all this culminates in is a lack of a way to express myself due to being stuck in a place between pain and fantasy, making the uttering of “Can you make me a cup of tea?” Come out as “Mer, merrrrrr” *points to kettle* and frankly, it’s starting to drive me a nuts.

Anyhoo, I just wanted to explain my absence and no-doubt sporadic nature of future posts being uploaded. I’m also working on a web comic site, but as I’m completely useless in the realm of coding WordPress sites, it may be a little longer until that project sees the light of day.

Live long and prosper.

xo

Sorry

I’m exhausted, but I AM working on something that’s worth waiting for. I hope.

In other news that’s mostly the same news as what I just said, the wait for the above is ALMOST over.

To tide you over until the time is nigh:

AvCon Nerd-Love

I’ve been busy lately, mostly with being awesome and amazing – which is very fluffin exhausting! I know you wouldn’t understand as you’re not quite as awesome as I, but if you attend AvCon or Supernova every year from now on; you might still have a chance. I believe in you.

Seriously though, that’s how I’ve been spending my time lately. Drawing cartoons, watching anime, reading manga and most importantly, attending AvCon here in Adelaide with my good friend Charlie.

We stalked lots of kawaii Cosplayers:

And this hand-embroidered piece of magical-wonderful won best cosplay:

I wanted to make out with her threads, but she wasn’t in to it for some reason… Unfortunately, Charlie and I were far less prepared. This means, that’s right, we had to purchase kitty ears:

Charlie and I have seen plenty of hentai and we sure as heck-fire knew where this was going:

Thats right, this is like pr0n to my people, and I sure had no trouble masturbating to it:

And of course, Charlie and I had to cap off the day by gaming into the darkness, whilst accompanied by a symphony of 8 bit music played on Gameboys:

You jelly?

CB. When you can’t be bothered saying the “F”

Human nature is above all things lazy.
- Harriet Beecher Stowe

In the words of Bill and Ted, I am feeling most non-triumphant.

“Why?” I hear you say. Well, gosh darn-it, I’m about to tell you why.

I have a mad case of the “can’t be fucked’s”. You dig? It’s been a long week/month/year for no one particular reason, I still haven’t eaten dinner because I can’t will myself off the couch and my cat is more BLAH BLAH ENERGETIC than I am.

I. Can’t. Be. Fucked.

Once I’ve pulled myself out of my pit of self pity, I’ll update this baby!

Trust me. I will.

To tide you over in the meantime, I acquired this hat from AvCon. ENVY ME:

Such is Life.

“Let us not unman each other; part at once; all farewells should be sudden, when forever”
- Lord Byron

This will probably be the only personal blog I put here. I feel that if I don’t put this here, I will not be able to move on in my mind and won’t put anything here.

Two weeks ago, I resigned from my Roller Derby league.

If you have been in my vicinity in the last month or two you would have seen an outpouring of black ooze coming from any of my exposed orifices. This ooze was a mixture of grief, pain, confusion, depression, anxiety and that sinking feeling I get in my stomach when a plane is taking off or landing.

Somewhere along the line I’ve failed to realise that this was all a game, and I’d been played.

“So, leave.” That little voice in my head. “You’ve never taken this kind of treatment before, why are you taking it now?” Man, that is a good question. What mindset was I contemplating, to be walked over and let others treat me-and-mine like that? I walked through the last couple of months asking myself if I was sane in a land of insanity, or if I had finally lost my mind. I was walking through a nightmare, questioning my own reality… I don’t recommend you try it and I certainly don’t plan on doing it again any time soon.

Then we reach the light. It was like that episode where Bear Grylls entered an old mine shaft and started to panic when his firey torch was extinguished, fearing that one wrong step would take him to his maker oh-so-sooner-than-expected – only to dance with relief when he saw that tiny speck of light in the distance. Freedom.

I’ve come to terms with my decisions and believe me, it was no light contemplation that brought me to this point. Perhaps if you really knew how utterly miserable I’ve been over the last 6 months you wouldn’t judge me too harshly over the fact that I didn’t resign in person, or that I didn’t fully explain myself at the time, or that I deleted you from Facebook to prevent myself looking at the harsh and unnecessarily nasty aftermath that was already adversely affecting my currently fragile emotional state. 6 months worth of frustration, pain and depression is not really something I particularly wished to stand up in front of 60 people and explain/justify. And yes, this time it was about me, and what was best for me.

I’m sorry to the good people I’ve left behind to clean this mess up, the ones who did nothing to contribute to this pile of whatever-it-is, but I couldn’t do it this time. I’ve been through too much with this league, most of which the majority of members weren’t there for, and this time – it’s time to move on.

I’m just going to ask one last thing from you before I become silent on the subject once more – please leave this situation be and respect our decisions. If you want to know why these decisions were made, ask the people who made them. Don’t rely on a third party to tell you what someone else is thinking/feeling. Ask them for yourselves and please, don’t abuse or slander us for the decisions we’ve made and continue to stand behind.

Coming together over a common hatred is not the way to continue. Come together over a common passion and let yourselves grow on love, not contempt for those who have made their choices.

I’m going to click “Publish” on this blog now because I’ve been writing and re-writing it for a week. Come what may.

NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaDRAWING!

I’ve finally had a moment to play with my new iPad, more specifically, I’ve been able to play around with it’s graphic tablet capabilities. It’s been a while since I’ve drawn anything, so please excuse my super-happy-bat-times drawing if it displeases your visual functionality:

My next entry will be much more wordy than my recent picture-driven renditions of life. Coming soon, once my brain-mass begins to function adequately again after some recent, less than awesome, events.

Batman makes me feel better about everything.

Time is Fleeting

I spent yesterday sleeping until 4PM, followed by dinner, then more sleeping – So there was really no time for blogging, no time at all. So I present to you the last 24 hours in Perth and arriving home in dear Adelaide…

Saturday started out with a visit to extended family of the cousin variety, namely Matt and Alaina (not pictured) and little Shelby pretending to be Mango the Cat (Yes, that’s a pink Yoshi she is holding):

Brother also makes an appearance in that photo, showing off our families trademarked face with charm. We were at Cousins house until well into the afternoon, partaking in croissants and home made chocolate fudge. After a well needed nap, we were off into Northbridge to dine with old electro friends:

Kid K, Neil, and myself:

Neil departed soon after our noms and we then made our way over to the Universal Bar, waiting in line until we realised the band we wanted to see had played 5 hours earlier. Touche, Perth. Matty T arrived and we made our way across town and tried to enter DeVilles, but were rejected on the grounds of footwear. So, third time’s a charm and we ended up at a little indie bar, Bird:

We spent a while chatting, drinking and observing others until the last drinks were called. As we are all old now, it was time to say our goodbyes and head off into the wee hours of the night.

D and I say “Goodbye Matty!”

Kid K and I share an intimate moment before departure:

To bed we then head. We slept and we slept, until Sunday broke through the sky. The day of departure was upon us!

We had a family lunch in a restaurant down the hill, then it was back to the abode to pack and re-pack our bags:

There was one last family photo to be uploaded, but it refuses to be resized to fit my format, so forever lost it shall be.

Father dropped us at the airport, where we said our goodbyes and then settled in to play the waiting game:

There isn’t a lot to do at the airport except stare at people and things… Oh Look! The Plane! The Plane!

We boarded the loudest plane in existence, which was awesome since I’m not a great flyer anyway. Regardless, we arrived back in Adelaide in one piece and under cover of darkness, to this:

Caused by this (not so) little guy who was ever-so-happy we were back:

A big thank you goes out to Mr Bob for looking after the giant fluffy whilst we were away =^_^=

It’s good to be home, though I’m not looking forward to reality welcoming me back with open arms.